Those first few days after having a baby are so blissful! Feels like heaven holding and cuddling your new bundle of joy! But eventually you sit and think: what am I doing? How am I dealing with this? Why am I so sad all the time? I’m exhausted and it was worth it, BUT I just don’t feel like myself anymore? What’s wrong with me?
You’re not alone. Most women feel like this after having a baby and it is totally normal but it isn’t always talked about. That dreaded “P” word that no one wants to claim they have or even talk about. Postpartum depression. There I said it. I was in the same boat. I was in denial and refused to believe I had it because I felt happy a majority of the time. I would be hit with overwhelming joy looking at my sweet girl and I thought “thank god I don’t have postpartum depression”. Boy was I wrong. One of the things that help me tremendously and made the anxiety of having a newborn a little easier? My squad.
I met these wonderful woman about 3 months after having my daughter. My mom told me to find and join a mom group. She explained I needed friends or else I’d go crazy sitting inside with a newborn 24-7. Especially since we had just moved to a whole new town and I didn’t have friends or really know anyone where we moved! So I did what my mother told me and I started searching mom groups in my area. I basically felt like I was back in elementary school with my mom telling me to find new friends and join a group. But boy am I glad I did because I can honestly say, these women saved me and became some of my closest friends!
I remember feeling so anxious and nervous meeting these women for the first time during a stroller walk, but I quickly clicked with them and we chatted away while our Little’s enjoyed a nice ride. These were the easiest women to chat and connect with. We chatted about everything from the basics of “what does your husband do” and “what college did you attend” to more personal questions like “how was your birth experience” and “did you breast feed”. Over time we’ve shared stories that have made us laugh so hard and shared moments that have made us cry. We’ve bonded over similar parenting stories and we’ve learned through each other’s triumphs and pitfalls. Joining this group was the best decision I’ve ever made.
They helped me overcome more than they could ever imagine. Each member had a role to play in helping me become the mother I am today. They helped me realize I’m not alone in this motherhood journey. They have been there when I needed to vent, when I had questions about baby milestones, or when I just needed time away from my little girl for a moms night out to just laugh and enjoy a night out.
I love this group and being able to do things with and without my daughter, but when my family moved about 40 min away from where the group is mainly located, it put a gap in my closeness with the group. I wasn’t able to attend every mom event or even go on all the stroller walks I used to attend, I wasn’t able to hang out with these amazing women like I used to and I miss it. I miss the events and the face-to-face interaction, but even though I am 40 min away from the group they still make time for me. They are still there for me and I know they are only one call away (Charlie Puth reference?!). And now that I have my second kiddo on the way, they took their time and drove that 40 min to attend my baby shower PLUS then threw me and my pregnancy twin mom, a second one with just the group.
These woman have gone above and beyond for me and I’ll never be able to repay them but little do they know that they actually saved me from myself. They saved my sanity, helped me cope with my postpartum depression before it got worse. They helped me learn that it truly takes a village.
So my advice to any new mom out there is-find your tribe and love them hard.