Categories: Hacks & Tips

How to Get Kids to Listen Without Yelling

&NewLine;<h2 class&equals;"has-text-align-center wp-block-heading">Raising kids is hard&period; Sometimes kids get caught up in their own thing and don&&num;8217&semi;t want to listen&period; Here is how to get kids to listen without yelling&period; <&sol;h2>&NewLine;&NewLine;&NewLine;&NewLine;<div class&equals;"wp-block-image"><figure class&equals;"aligncenter size-large is-resized"><img src&equals;"https&colon;&sol;&sol;mamabearreviews&period;com&sol;wp-content&sol;uploads&sol;2020&sol;11&sol;Copy-of-MASTERCOPY-Big-and-Bold-Pinterest-Pin-Templates-14-683x1024&period;png" class&equals;"wp-image-8310" width&equals;"342" height&equals;"512"&sol;><&sol;figure><&sol;div>&NewLine;&NewLine;&NewLine;&NewLine;<h6 class&equals;"has-text-align-center wp-block-heading">&ast;DISCLAIMER&colon; links may be affiliate meaning I may receive a small commission at no additional cost to you&ast;<&sol;h6>&NewLine;&NewLine;&NewLine;&NewLine;<p class&equals;"has-medium-font-size">How to get kids to listen without yelling is probably the most asked parenting question out there&period; <&sol;p>&NewLine;&NewLine;&NewLine;&NewLine;<p class&equals;"has-medium-font-size">Everyone wants to know the magic trick to being a calm parent as well as how to get their kids to just automatically listen&period; <&sol;p>&NewLine;<&excl;-- WP QUADS Content Ad Plugin v&period; 2&period;0&period;95 -->&NewLine;<div class&equals;"quads-location quads-ad11" id&equals;"quads-ad11" style&equals;"float&colon;none&semi;margin&colon;0px 0 0px 0&semi;text-align&colon;center&semi;">&NewLine;&NewLine;<&sol;div>&NewLine;&NewLine;&NewLine;&NewLine;&NewLine;<p class&equals;"has-medium-font-size">The trick is&comma; there is no one way to get kids to listen without yelling&period; There are different ways to approach it depending on the child and how your child responds&period; <&sol;p>&NewLine;&NewLine;&NewLine;&NewLine;<p class&equals;"has-medium-font-size">So you may have to try different ways&comma; but you can&&num;8217&semi;t give up after just one attempt if it doesn&&num;8217&semi;t work the first time&period; <&sol;p>&NewLine;&NewLine;&NewLine;&NewLine;<p class&equals;"has-medium-font-size">You have to give it a few days and see if it sticks before moving on&period; How to get kids to listen without yelling will be challenging&period; <&sol;p>&NewLine;&NewLine;&NewLine;&NewLine;<p class&equals;"has-medium-font-size">I still to this day have moments where I snap and yell at my kids&period; We are human and don&&num;8217&semi;t beat yourself up over it if it does happen&period; We&&num;8217&semi;ve all been there&period; It&&num;8217&semi;s normal and does NOT make you a <a href&equals;"https&colon;&sol;&sol;mamabearreviews&period;com&sol;mom-guilt-its-real&sol;" target&equals;"&lowbar;blank" rel&equals;"noreferrer noopener"><span class&equals;"has-inline-color has-vivid-cyan-blue-color">bad mom<&sol;span><&sol;a>&period;<&sol;p>&NewLine;&NewLine;&NewLine;&NewLine;<p class&equals;"has-medium-font-size">Now that that is out of the way&comma; we can move on to how to get your kids to listen without yelling&period; <&sol;p>&NewLine;&NewLine;&NewLine;&NewLine;<div class&equals;"wp-block-image"><figure class&equals;"aligncenter size-large is-resized"><img src&equals;"https&colon;&sol;&sol;mamabearreviews&period;com&sol;wp-content&sol;uploads&sol;2020&sol;11&sol;Copy-of-Untitled-21&period;png" class&equals;"wp-image-8311" width&equals;"418" height&equals;"232"&sol;><&sol;figure><&sol;div>&NewLine;&NewLine;&NewLine;&NewLine;<h2 class&equals;"wp-block-heading">Get Their Attention<&sol;h2>&NewLine;&NewLine;&NewLine;&NewLine;<p class&equals;"has-medium-font-size">Usually the whole reason parents really start yelling is because kids are &&num;8220&semi;listening&&num;8221&semi; when in reality&comma; kids aren&&num;8217&semi;t pay attention&period; <&sol;p>&NewLine;&NewLine;&NewLine;&NewLine;<p class&equals;"has-medium-font-size">They are either distracted or not really hearing what we are saying because they have gotten used to the yelling&period;<&sol;p>&NewLine;&NewLine;&NewLine;&NewLine;<p class&equals;"has-medium-font-size">Use short&comma; catchy&comma; attention grabbers to grab your kids attention first before requiring them to do a task&period; <&sol;p>&NewLine;&NewLine;&NewLine;&NewLine;<p class&equals;"has-medium-font-size">For example&comma; before asking your kids to pick up their toys&comma; get their attention because chances are they aren&&num;8217&semi;t even really paying attention to you&period;<&sol;p>&NewLine;&NewLine;&NewLine;&NewLine;<p class&equals;"has-medium-font-size">Attention grabbers which require an action from the child is even better&period; <&sol;p>&NewLine;&NewLine;&NewLine;&NewLine;<p class&equals;"has-medium-font-size">Example&colon; &&num;8220&semi;1&comma;2&comma;3 eyes on me&&num;8230&semi;&&num;8221&semi; In which the kid would respond with &&num;8220&semi;1&comma; 2 eyes on you&excl;&&num;8221&semi; and then chances are they are looking at you and ready to actually hear what you are asking of them&period; <&sol;p>&NewLine;&NewLine;&NewLine;&NewLine;<p class&equals;"has-medium-font-size">Explain that after you say your phrase&comma; they say theirs&period;<&sol;p>&NewLine;&NewLine;&NewLine;&NewLine;<p class&equals;"has-medium-font-size">Another example my daughters teacher actually uses is&comma; &&num;8220&semi;eyes open&&num;8221&semi; and kids repeat &&num;8220&semi;eyes open&&num;8221&semi; and she says &&num;8220&semi;mouths closed&&num;8221&semi; and they hum &&num;8220&semi;hmm hmm&&num;8221&semi; in response because their mouths should be closed&period; <&sol;p>&NewLine;&NewLine;&NewLine;&NewLine;<p class&equals;"has-medium-font-size">It&&num;8217&semi;s catchy and it works&period; The class immediately stops talking and looks at her&period; Gets their attention every time&period; <&sol;p>&NewLine;&NewLine;&NewLine;&NewLine;<p class&equals;"has-medium-font-size">So using attention grabbers is a way on how you get kids to listen without yelling&period; This way before you actually ask what you are requesting of them with an attention grabber you know they are paying attention&period; <&sol;p>&NewLine;&NewLine;&NewLine;&NewLine;<p class&equals;"has-medium-font-size">There are lots of attention grabbers you can use&period; Here are a few&colon; You&colon; &&num;8220&semi;Hands on top&&num;8221&semi;&&num;8230&semi;&period;child&colon; &&num;8220&semi;that means stop&&num;8221&semi; Another is&comma; You&colon; &&num;8220&semi;To Infinity&&num;8221&semi;&&num;8230&semi; child&colon; &&num;8220&semi;and beyond&excl;&&num;8221&semi;<&sol;p>&NewLine;&NewLine;&NewLine;&NewLine;<div class&equals;"wp-block-image"><figure class&equals;"aligncenter size-large is-resized"><img src&equals;"https&colon;&sol;&sol;mamabearreviews&period;com&sol;wp-content&sol;uploads&sol;2020&sol;11&sol;Copy-of-Untitled-22&period;png" class&equals;"wp-image-8316" width&equals;"405" height&equals;"225"&sol;><&sol;figure><&sol;div>&NewLine;&NewLine;&NewLine;&NewLine;<h2 class&equals;"wp-block-heading">Make Sure They Understand<&sol;h2>&NewLine;&NewLine;&NewLine;&NewLine;<p class&equals;"has-medium-font-size">Miscommunication not only happens between adults&comma; it can also happen between kids and adults&period; <&sol;p>&NewLine;&NewLine;&NewLine;&NewLine;<p class&equals;"has-medium-font-size">Us adults usually tell kids what to do and just assume they actually understand what we are asking of them&period;<&sol;p>&NewLine;&NewLine;&NewLine;&NewLine;<p class&equals;"has-medium-font-size">Sometimes we forget we need to simplify our instructions and make sure they are age appropriate in a way your kids can understand and then follow through&period;<&sol;p>&NewLine;&NewLine;&NewLine;&NewLine;<p class&equals;"has-medium-font-size">Kids may just stare blankly at you after you ask them to do something and that is infuriating&period; It makes us angry which then can turn into repeating the instructions in a yelling tone&period; <&sol;p>&NewLine;&NewLine;&NewLine;&NewLine;<p class&equals;"has-medium-font-size">How to get kids to listen without yelling requires your kids to fully understand and comprehend what you are actually asking of them&period; <&sol;p>&NewLine;&NewLine;&NewLine;&NewLine;<p class&equals;"has-medium-font-size">Ask them if they understand what you just said&period; And then have them repeat what you asked them to do to make sure they understand&period; <&sol;p>&NewLine;&NewLine;&NewLine;&NewLine;<p class&equals;"has-medium-font-size">Sometimes kids will just say yes they understand even if they don&&num;8217&semi;t&period; Especially if you have kids who aim to please&period; Most kids will either stare blankly or they will say yes and then not do what was asked of them&period; <&sol;p>&NewLine;&NewLine;&NewLine;&NewLine;<p class&equals;"has-medium-font-size">This causes yelling&period; <&sol;p>&NewLine;&NewLine;&NewLine;&NewLine;<p class&equals;"has-medium-font-size">Having them repeat what you are asking allows them time to process what you are actually asking of them and then follow through&period; <&sol;p>&NewLine;&NewLine;&NewLine;&NewLine;<h2 class&equals;"wp-block-heading">Simplify the Steps<&sol;h2>&NewLine;&NewLine;&NewLine;&NewLine;<p class&equals;"has-medium-font-size">Sometimes we go on a to-do list style request for our kids&period; <&sol;p>&NewLine;&NewLine;&NewLine;&NewLine;<p class&equals;"has-medium-font-size">We need to simplify and give steps&period; Especially with young kids&period; <&sol;p>&NewLine;&NewLine;&NewLine;&NewLine;<p class&equals;"has-medium-font-size">You can&&num;8217&semi;t say&comma; &&num;8220&semi;go pick up all your toys&comma; put them in your room&comma; take your jacket and hang it up&comma; put your shoes away&comma; hang your backpack up&comma; put your clean clothes away&comma; and then go wash your hands&&num;8221&semi;<&sol;p>&NewLine;&NewLine;&NewLine;&NewLine;<p class&equals;"has-medium-font-size">That is too many steps for anyone to remember&comma; let alone a child&period; <&sol;p>&NewLine;&NewLine;&NewLine;&NewLine;<p class&equals;"has-medium-font-size">Kids have short attention spans&period; <&sol;p>&NewLine;&NewLine;&NewLine;&NewLine;<p class&equals;"has-medium-font-size">Try breaking up the request&period; Asking for 2-3 things to be done then add 2-3 more then those get done&period; Build upon the list instead of throwing the whole list at them&period; <&sol;p>&NewLine;&NewLine;&NewLine;&NewLine;<div class&equals;"wp-block-image"><figure class&equals;"aligncenter size-large is-resized"><img src&equals;"https&colon;&sol;&sol;mamabearreviews&period;com&sol;wp-content&sol;uploads&sol;2020&sol;11&sol;Copy-of-Untitled-23&period;png" class&equals;"wp-image-8317" width&equals;"425" height&equals;"236"&sol;><&sol;figure><&sol;div>&NewLine;&NewLine;&NewLine;&NewLine;<h2 class&equals;"wp-block-heading">Respectful Tone<&sol;h2>&NewLine;&NewLine;&NewLine;&NewLine;<p class&equals;"has-medium-font-size">Using a respectful or nice tone of voice will help your child feel comfortable and not like you are being a drill sergeant&period; <&sol;p>&NewLine;&NewLine;&NewLine;&NewLine;<p class&equals;"has-medium-font-size">Asking them nicely might help them do what you are asking of them&period; <&sol;p>&NewLine;&NewLine;&NewLine;&NewLine;<p class&equals;"has-medium-font-size">Personally&comma; my kids respond more when I ask in a loving way as opposed to an annoyed and irritated tone of voice&period; They want the loving ask instead of the bossy ask&period; Wouldn&&num;8217&semi;t you&quest;<&sol;p>&NewLine;&NewLine;&NewLine;&NewLine;<h2 class&equals;"wp-block-heading">Give a Choice<&sol;h2>&NewLine;&NewLine;&NewLine;&NewLine;<p class&equals;"has-medium-font-size">Another way to get kids to listen is to give them a choice&period; Or at least what to them <em>seems<&sol;em> like a choice&period; <&sol;p>&NewLine;&NewLine;&NewLine;&NewLine;<p class&equals;"has-medium-font-size">i will tell my daughter &&num;8220&semi;you can pick up your toys or you can go to your room&comma; you pick&&num;8221&semi; chances are she will pick the picking up toys because she doesn&&num;8217&semi;t want to go to her room&period; <&sol;p>&NewLine;&NewLine;&NewLine;&NewLine;<p class&equals;"has-medium-font-size">oNow another way you can have them &&num;8220&semi;make a choice&&num;8221&semi; is giving them a choice of what task they get to do first&period;<&sol;p>&NewLine;&NewLine;&NewLine;&NewLine;<p class&equals;"has-medium-font-size">For example you could ask your child&comma; &&num;8220&semi;put your shoes away first or hang up your jacket first&comma; you choose&&num;8221&semi;&period; <&sol;p>&NewLine;&NewLine;&NewLine;&NewLine;<p class&equals;"has-medium-font-size">This way they get a choice in their actions and don&&num;8217&semi;t feel like they are just being told what to do all day long&period; Personally I&&num;8217&semi;d hate that so why are kids any different&quest;<&sol;p>&NewLine;&NewLine;&NewLine;&NewLine;<p class&equals;"has-medium-font-size">Now granted both choices will get done but you are just asking them which they would rather do <em>first<&sol;em>&period; <&sol;p>&NewLine;&NewLine;&NewLine;&NewLine;<h2 class&equals;"wp-block-heading">Take a Break<&sol;h2>&NewLine;&NewLine;&NewLine;&NewLine;<p class&equals;"has-medium-font-size">If you have done all of these things and you are still not getting through to them and you end up at your wits end and feel a scream coming on&comma; leave&period;<&sol;p>&NewLine;&NewLine;&NewLine;&NewLine;<p class&equals;"has-medium-font-size"><a href&equals;"https&colon;&sol;&sol;mamabearreviews&period;com&sol;tips-for-an-overwhelmed-mom&sol;" target&equals;"&lowbar;blank" rel&equals;"noreferrer noopener"><span class&equals;"has-inline-color has-vivid-cyan-blue-color">Take a break<&sol;span><&sol;a> and let yourself calm down&period; Whether that is walking into another room away from the non-listeners and letting out that anger on your pillow or just crying out of frustration&period; <&sol;p>&NewLine;&NewLine;&NewLine;&NewLine;<p class&equals;"has-medium-font-size">It&&num;8217&semi;s better to take that emotion out on your pillows than your kids&period; <&sol;p>&NewLine;&NewLine;&NewLine;&NewLine;<h2 class&equals;"wp-block-heading">Apologize<&sol;h2>&NewLine;&NewLine;&NewLine;&NewLine;<p class&equals;"has-medium-font-size">If you do slip up and yell at the kids &lpar;we&&num;8217&semi;ve all been there so no judgement&excl;&rpar;&comma; apologize once you calm down&period; <&sol;p>&NewLine;&NewLine;&NewLine;&NewLine;<p class&equals;"has-medium-font-size">We are all human and if you model that behavior of apologizing when you slip up or make a mistake it will teach them to apologize if they do the same&period;<&sol;p>&NewLine;&NewLine;&NewLine;&NewLine;<p class&equals;"has-medium-font-size">Apologizing to your kid may feel odd at first but why&quest; <&sol;p>&NewLine;&NewLine;&NewLine;&NewLine;<p class&equals;"has-medium-font-size">After all they are humans too&comma; just tiny&period; <&sol;p>&NewLine;&NewLine;&NewLine;&NewLine;<p class&equals;"has-medium-font-size">They have feelings too and sometimes they don&&num;8217&semi;t understand their feelings&period; So if you can apologize for yelling and screaming at them they may feel better about themselves too&period;<&sol;p>&NewLine;&NewLine;&NewLine;&NewLine;<p><&sol;p>&NewLine;&NewLine;&NewLine;&NewLine;<p class&equals;"has-medium-font-size">Hopefully these gave you some options on how to get kids to listen without yelling for your family&period; &NewLine;

Amelia Zamora

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